The Meaning of Marriage (1)

In our last two installments, we examined the world’s view of marriage. We turn now to God’s view and will examine three emphases in the next several installments: the meaning, motives, and model of marriage.

Before we can understand precisely what marriage is, we must consider what it is not.

First, sexual relations do not constitute marriage. It is a common misconception that sexual union constitutes marriage. But if that is true, then fornication is actually an “informal marriage” and adultery is actually “bigamy” (or polygamy). But the Word of God says no such thing. It speaks of these things as being outside of marriage. For example, Joseph is clearly called Mary’s husband even though it is explicitly stated that they had not yet joined in sexual union (Matt. 1:25). We would also add, neither is a marriage “consummated” by sexual union on the honeymoon as is often maintained. If that were true, then the pastor was very misleading when he said, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Rather, as we’ll see in a moment, a marriage is consummated when the couple exchanges vows before God and other witness and enter a covenant relationship.

Second, marriage was not instituted primarily for procreation. Some folks believe that the main purpose of marriage is to propagate the human race in a respectable fashion. That’s what the Greeks thought: “You have to have wife so you can have children who won’t be called bastards.” But we can put the matter this way: marriage is more than mating. Though procreation is one of the duties of marriage (assuming both persons are physically capable of having children), such procreation could have been accomplished without marriage.

What then is marriage? Simply stated, God’s Word speaks of marriage as “The Covenant of Companionship.” Let us fully explain this wonderful principle.

Marriage is indeed the most natural and the most likely step a person will take in his (or her) life. We say this for two reasons, both of which are based upon Genesis 2:18: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

We will return to the term “help meet” a little later, but the first reason that marriage is the most natural and the most likely step a person will take is that it is not good for a man to be alone. God says that the “single life” is not good. Adam was lonely in the Garden, so God gave him a companion. Yes, there are exceptions, as we will see, but the general principle is that single is not satisfactory.

The second reason is because the woman was created for the man. “What did you just say?” many would shout today. Oh, how upset people get at that statement! A cross reference here is I Corinthians 11:8-9, which we will study in our next chapter: “For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” This does not imply inferiority or servitude on the part of the woman; it does not imply that she is to be at her husband’s beckoning call or that she must satisfy his every whim. What this means is that the women’s purpose in being created was to be the man’s companion, one with whom he can share everything, one who can help him. While this truth is challenged often, all one has to do is examine good marriages to find that this principle works in practice.

This is also seen in the fact that a woman takes the man’s name when she marries him. Does the Bible actually teach that? Indeed It does. Genesis 5:1-2 declares: “This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created (emphasis added).” Notice that God called them, not just him, Adam. From the very beginning, the woman was a “covenanted companion” with her husband, to the point of even taking his name. While some women today resent this practice and keep their “maiden” name or hyphenate their maiden name with their husband’s name, they apparently miss the fact that their maiden name is also a man’s name—their father’s name. They are not only being silly but also are rebellious against God’s design. We’ll continue these thoughts next time.