As we’ve been studying, there are at least eight manifestations of Spirit-filling in the New Testament, four of which are in our text. The first is music (Eph. 5:19a), second, there is worship (19b), and third, there is thanksgiving (v. 20). Fourth, there is submission—Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God (v. 21).
As mentioned last time, this is one of the most misunderstood principles of God’s Word! It has been greatly misapplied and abused. But this principle is actually the one that leads into Paul’s deeper discussion of the family and the responsibilities of each family member. How desperately we need to understand this all-important truth. Let us look at two thoughts. First, we considered the meaning of submission.
Second, we consider submission in the home. This principle of submission is the central theme of the entire passage on the home. God has designed and defined the roles of each family member according to whom each family is submitted, that is, ranked underneath. Again, this never implies inferiority; it simply speaks of responsibility.
Before we illustrate this principle with each family member, consider another thought. This submission we have been discussing is certainly the opposite of the “selfism” philosophy of today. We cannot be submissive if we are “self-sensitive,” that is, always aware of our own needs, feelings, and desires. Nor can we be submissive if we are “self-assertive,” that is, always expressing our own needs, feelings, and desires. And we certainly cannot be submissive if we are “self-centered,” that is, always fulfilling our own needs, feelings, and desires. The more conscious we are of “self” the less submissive we will be. To have a Godly home, each family member submits according to God’s order.
First, the wife submits to her husband. Please notice that verse 22 does not say, “The husband makes his wife submit.” No, he does not Lord over her as a dictator over his subjects. Rather, the wife voluntarily “ranks herself underneath” because the husband is the God-ordained leader in the home. We will deal with the term “help-meet” as we progress, but may we mention here that the basic idea of the word is that the wife is under her husband supporting, aiding, and encouraging him. As we will also see, the woman was actually created for the man not for herself (I Cor. 11:3, 8-9). The reason this is true is because individually the man and the woman are only half a person. It is only when they come together that a whole person is formed.
Second, the husband submits to Christ. Because the wife submits herself to the husband “as unto the Lord” (v. 22) and because the husband sacrificially loves His wife as Christ loved the Church (v. 25; I Cor. 11:3), the husband is under the direct headship of Christ and is Christ’s representative in the home. Talk about responsibility!
Third, children submit to the parents. Children “rank themselves underneath” as they obey their parents (6:1-3). This does not mean that parents are “better” than the children, but it simply means that God has put the parents in authority and has made them responsible. How much better off our homes would be if parents would not just teach children to “obey,” but teach them the motive for obedience—submission, keeping order in the ranks.
Oh, how foundational is this principle submission in the home! Without a submissive attitude from every family member, we will not have Godly homes.
Now that we have studied the Meaning and the Manifestations of Spirit-filling, we are now prepared to look at one other principle of Spirit-filling. That’s for next time.
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