Making Right Decisions

To walk according to wisdom, we must first walk circumspectly (Ephesians 5:15a), second, we must not be fools (v. 15b, 17a), and third, we must redeem our time (v. 16).

Fourth and finally, we must [understand] what the will of the Lord is (v. 17a). The fool tries to run his own life and tries to do things his own way, but the wise person desires to know God’s will in each and every given circumstance.

There are basically four Biblical principles for making decisions: Scripture is first, followed then by wisdom, desire, and counsel, all of which are also based on Scripture. Let’s test this Scripture-centered approach with an example of how to make a decision. Probably the biggest decision a Christian will make is who to marry.

First, what does Scripture dictate? The common idea is that there is “that one certain person” I should marry and that “I must wait for God to reveal that person to me.” But the Word of God says several things about who we should marry. One is that that person must be a true Christian. Some teachers stop there and feel that as long as someone is a Christian, then all is well. But the principle of the “unequal yoke” (II Cor. 6:14-17) goes further. There should also be agreement concerning Biblical doctrine. Radically differing doctrinal viewpoints are the ingredients for big conflicts. Another dictate is agreement concerning the Biblical roles of men and women. Do you agree about those roles as outlined in Ephesians 5:21-33 and elsewhere? Do you agree in how to raise children as outlined in Ephesians 6:1-4 and elsewhere? If there is not an “equal yoke” in such areas, you better take another look at the relationship and where it will end up.

Second, what does wisdom contribute to the decision?  As James declares, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (Jas. 1:5). This entails just examining the relationship and wisely discerning compatibility. Do you get along well with each other? I’ve seen dating couples who argue constantly but who think they want to get married. Do you both have some of the same interests? This probably won’t include everything, but are there some things you can do together? What are your goals and priorities? What are your views of money and how to handle it? Each one of the questions, and others that will arise, must be tied back in with Scripture.

Third, how does your desire fit into the equation? I was listening to one teacher on this very issue who asked, “Well, what if there are two choices of a prospective mate, two that meet the qualifications? Simple—pick one. Which one do you want?” Desire does have something to do with our decisions. Now, the most important aspect of desire is found in James 4:3: “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” Be sure your desire is not just lust, but a Godly, biblical desire. With that established, what do you want to do? Psalm 37:4 declares, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” The Preacher of Ecclesiastes 11:9 agrees, “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment.” There is nothing wrong with desire, as long as the desire is pure. Paul speaks of desire in this very area in I Corinthians 7:39, “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” “Will” is the Greek thelō, which means “to will, desire” and “by implication it means to be disposed or inclined toward [something], delight in, love, in which case it is a synonym of phileō, to love.”

Fourth, how does Godly counsel influence the decision? Here is the final “safety valve.” Proverbs says much about Godly counsel. “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise” (12:15). “Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established” (15:22). “Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end” (19:20). “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel” (27:9). A Godly friend, parent, or pastor might see something you don’t or might give an encouragement you didn’t consider.

This same procedure will apply to those other questions we asked earlier. What about where you should go to college? What about buying that new house or car? What about where you should go to church? What about starting a particular ministry or church program? And it will apply to any others that come our way.